Guiding youngsters gently into the harsh realities of life is the best way of creating mature adults.
There used to be a company, in Wales, which produced novelty vending machines, which had a sticker on the front proclaiming that, for a nominal sum, the user would get "a prize every time".
Then there's the well-meaning socialist sports day in which everyone, wherever they ended on the field, would get a trophy. Obviously, this was conceived with the best of intentions by people who, in all probability, have had sand kicked in their faces too, too many times and who wanted to raise a salad-and-tofu fist up to the vicissitudes of reality. But as we all know, roads paved with diamond intent lead to some pretty awful places and, of course, not being able to cope with reality is one of the worst places imaginable.
The concept of winners and losers isn't meant to deflate and demoralise. Naturally, it will demoralise some, but that's partly because they don't have the support structures in place to fling them back out into the arena which, as many psychologists are wont to aver, is the best of actions. You see this with people who have had a prang in the car, or who've been thrown from a horse: the best advice is often to get back into it - drive the car still, if it's still driveable: get back on the spirited steed, if it hasn't bolted for the hills. What you don't want to do is forget it ever happened, instead you learn the lessons the experience has taught you, alter your technique.
That is how you learn.
Pretending that the winning is in the taking part instead of clearing the highest bar, beating your nearest competitor to the tape by a blinkered nose or disturbing the most distant blade of grass is, well, tantamount to communism. Think about it: if you're going to be paid the same whether you're a brain surgeon or a street-sweeper then why, barring an ephemeral sense of satisfaction or, perhaps, a gun to the head, would you bother to put yourself to the stress of the former? It's all very well saying that it isn't the winning but the taking part that is important, and whatever other balmy platitudes one anoints those who don't make the effort with, but if the last man gets the same prize as the first, what's the point of making the effort?
Besides, losing occasionally steels one for the inevitable disappointments life is wont to swing around. If you don't experience these things in a manageable environment, what are you going to do when the bottom falls out of your worldview? Become a social justice warrior?
Good luck with that!
What do you think? How has the occasional loss helped you to grow? Let us know in the comments section below and, as always, please do like and share this article.
