Celebrities from all corners of Tinselvania have threatened to leave the United States if Trump won the presidency.
From Cher to Jay Z and tinsel-knickers, from Miley Cyrus to Amy Schumer, from Lena Dunham to Al Sharpton, from wotsisface to thingy, celebrities and has-beens alike have been falling over themselves to look like born fools over the election of Donald Trump.
None of them have yet applied for citizenship of another country or, in the case of Cher and a few other jellybeans, another planet.
When asked why they were still darkening America's door, as one they said "it was only a joke". It's the first time I've ever heard a joke enunciated through tears, outside of a well-telegraphed tragi-comic script. But then I suppose this whole charade is a script of sorts, a work, an Oscar nomination for best interview. It's a way for these people to go out of their minds to claim that the only way to keep acting talent in the country is to vote for the putrescent warmonger. Of course, they won't see it like that, because they see the D on the ticket and, quite frankly, they'd have you vote for a monkey if it wore a D on the ticket.
Which probably explains Barmy Banana.
Also, there's this clique in Tinselvania which more-or-less renders unemployable any actors who would dare vote... yeugh... Republican. Even if actors have it in their minds so to do, they will make a play to the Democrat gallery lest anyone suspect that they are batting for the other team, so to speak. Oh, don't get me wrong, you can be gayer than a treeful of sleep-deprived absinthe salesmen, camper than several pairs of comedy breasts fashioned into a disco ball and more louche than an unsecured nutter, but be a Ra-Ra-Republican and, whilst the tolerant liberals are in charge you'll never work in this town again.
Obviously, there are elder statesmen like Clint Sensible Eastwood, but he's a big name which pulls in the fundaments onto the furniture. Then there's the ripped Republican like Arnold Schwarzenegger, who could rip you a new one whilst juggling chainsaws - which I'm told he's apt to do when his ire is prodded. It's always a possibility. Perhaps.
But for those poor souls who have to get by on a mere whim of studio favour, they have to go through the motions, no matter how putrid the septic tank. That they haven't seen fit to follow through on their promises, however, has blown their little scheme to smithereens, no longer to be believed except by the most vapid and vacant star-struck individuals.
Mind you, there are enough of those out there to populate a galaxy.
What do you think? Are the stars that have gone full supernova not fulfilling their promises to become white dwarves? Let us know what you think in the comments below and, as always, please like and share this article.
